6 Things To Consider In Order To Ask Better Questions

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Ever since we were little children, we have always been encouraged to ask questions. I recall teachers being extremely disappointed when the classroom fell silent during question and answer time. They interpreted this stunned silence as collective inattention. And they were right to do so, for questions are a natural consequence of a curious, thinking mind. Great philosophers asked meaningful questions that framed societal and moral codes of conduct. Academicians routinely question their ideas, knowledge and findings of peers and colleagues to test the validity of their hypotheses and to ensure that their conclusions are water-tight. This also paves the way for new avenues of research, leading to path-breaking scientific discoveries. In a democracy, using your voice either to propagate or challenge the existing system is the mark of a responsible citizen. And as an individual, it is important to also pose questions to the self, allowing you to see where you stand in terms of your belief and stance on various issues. Introspection is perhaps the most underrated form of questioning that has never been more important than it is today.

Questioning is essential. However, as with all other forms of interpersonal interaction, this is a skill that one must master. To put it plainly, the goal of questioning is broadly to gain an answer but very often, answers are biased, insufficient, inaccurate and sometimes, withheld entirely. Extracting an honest, usable answer demands excellent questioning.

Here are a few useful pointers to consider:

• Firstly, establish the purpose of questioning. The intent often informs the way the question is framed and presented (more on this later!) and influences the response. Passive-aggressive questioning (think: “oh, you don’t really care about that, do you?”) that is intended to stir up trouble is unnecessary (please do not do that!). Understanding why you are asking a specific set of questions will help you pose them in a way that tell a narrative. A hodgepodge of pointless questions that lead to confusion will result in diluted, shallow answers. For instance, if you first ask an entrepreneur about their childhood passion, then jump to their funding and immediately after that, ask about their personal life, all three responses will be half-hearted and hurried. Instead, tracing a story through the process of questioning helps in reaching more depth. If your motive is crystal, your question is clear.
• Research: To question is to probe for answers from someone who is not necessarily entitled to provide a response. A great way to do so is to ask well-formed questions after thoroughly educating yourself about the person, topic or issue at hand. It helps with distinguishing the known from the unknown. This not only leads to disciplined, logical, intelligently constructed questions, but encourages a more forthcoming response. In the case of introspection, research enables you to identify facts, uncover inconsistencies, and analyze thought patterns in a more coherent manner. Investing the time in conducting research illustrates a sense of sincerity, enabling you to establish a deeper intellectual and emotional connect.
• Tone: Very often, the situation or context determines the tone of enquiry. A law enforcement professional applies a considerable amount of pressure and is unafraid to speak harshly with an offending party. This is a method that is proven to result in a confession (the desirable outcome). However, if a spouse were to take a condescending tone with their partner, it would only lead to an escalation of the issue. A mother questioning her young child would not take the same tone as an interviewer speaking with an esteemed panelist. Modifying the tone to suit the occasion and the other party is key to a satisfactory response.
• Sensitivity: Empathy and emotional intelligence are essential (and very underrated) ingredients to proper questioning. Particularly in instances where victims have been hurt, subjected to distress, injustice but even when the questions asked are deeply personal. Asking someone about their weight without considering the possibility that they may be suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphia could have huge ramifications. Similarly, hassling married couples about their decision to have children is grossly intrusive. Rattling off a series of pre-rehearsed questions like a checklist also adds salt to a wound and closes a person off from the willingness to engage. Expressing a feeling of solidarity or concern goes a long way in eliciting truth and information.
• Etiquette: Basic conversational etiquette must never be underestimated. Talking over someone else, rambling, interrupting mid-sentence, is not only counterproductive, it is highly uncivilised. Allowing the other person the time and means to present their thoughts, argument, or reasoning is necessary to attain a worthy answer. Heckling someone incessantly will be grossly ineffective (not to mention, really gross). When questioning another, it is helpful to remember that the answer is the summit, the question is merely the path that helps one get there. Navigating the conversation wisely while keeping the end goal in mind will help you place emphasis on reaching the summit rather than stomping heavily over every possible question and losing your way.
• Bias: There are a number of biases that can creep into questioning and directly impact the response. A common one is the framing effect that alters the response based on the semantics of how the question is presented. For instance, reading “80% sugar” vs “20% less sugar” on a candy bar could significantly alter your consumption of said snack. Another is confirmation bias which is the tendency to only seek information that supports or corroborates an opinion or belief that is already held. Eliminating these biases by framing questions in a neutral manner, free of judgements, conclusions and assumptions, will lead to more authentic responses.

There are a number of other ways to pose questions effectively. The best way is to engage in it frequently and seek feedback, whenever possible. Asking the right questions is powerful — it can build someone up, break down walls, lead to justice, transform understanding and create a chain effect of critical thinkers who can change the world as we know it.

If repeated questioning does not elicit a response and you wonder if it is “to be or not to be?”, perhaps some questions are best left unanswered.